People assume that having to use a wheelchair is the worst thing ever.
It definitely comes with its inconveniences, but there are some perks that come along with it as well. First and foremost, people need to realize that a wheelchair is not an inherently bad thing. In fact it is the opposite. A wheelchair is FREEDOM and allows me to get out and explore the world. This is an important distinction a lot of people miss. So I just want to set the record straight. Yes, spinal cord injuries suck. Paralysis sucks. Neurological conditions suck. Chronic health issues suck. Overpriced medical equipment sucks. But my wheelchair is awesome.
Here’s my rundown on some positive perks that come from using a wheelchair and being paralyzed:
Getting escorted to the front of the line. I honestly do not mind waiting in a regular line (granted there aren’t those stupid roping off pillars that are always spaced to narrow to allow a chair to get through), but it is nice to be whisked to the front and save the hassle.
Good seats at concerts (assuming it’s not standing room only). This one can be a double edged sword, either you get a premium seating section, or you end up in a weird place semi-behind the stage. Even so, it beats standing room concerts where all you get is a view of other peoples butts rather than the stage.
VIP at the airport (until you get on the plane). You get a designated line at security and get whisked through the back ways of the airport which is pretty cool. Unfortunately, the fun and games end as soon as you have to transfer into an aisle chair to board the plane and you are physically separated from your “legs” (wheelchair).
Shoes pretty much last forever and never wear out.. The only problem is it takes way longer to break them in and can cause blisters until set.
Not caring if my socks get wet. This used to be one of my least favourite things in the world. Now I feel free from this worry. Obviously it’s still not good to spend excessive amounts of time in sopping wet socks, but now as long as they have a chance to air-dry, I leave them on.
Bug bites aren’t itchy. Still important to use bug spray in areas where malaria or dengue fever is present, but it is nice not to have to deal with itchy bug bites keeping you awake at night.
Playing the sympathy card in desperate times. It sounds terrible, and this makes me cringe even typing it. I honestly do not want anyone’s pity. But sometimes desperate times call for desperate needs. I will admit it has resulted in getting a nice table on a patio when all of the available ones were all high tops. The best was getting a free limo ride when the wheelchair accessible taxi service quoted me a wait time of 45 minutes after a concert on a cold night. All in all, I am definitely thankful for people with good hearts.
Enjoying making people uncomfortable with bad wheelchair puns and self-deprecating jokes. Humour is a source of therapy and healing for many people. Bonus points when people don’t know if they should laugh or not.
Wheelchair nod from other wheelie peeps in passing. It is the wheelchair version of the jeep wave or motorcycle wave. Even if you do not know another wheelchair user but see them out in public, there is always an unconscious tether and sense of solidarity..
Having your own chair anywhere you go. It is not always the most convenient thing to lug around everywhere, but the upside is always having a comfortable place to sit.
Using your lap as a mobile table. I am always doing crafts and projects or cooking something up in the kitchen. It is super nice being able to create a moving workspace on your lap. I usually use a cutting board or lap desk to protect my legs if I am handling anything potentially dangerous.
Find out who your ride or die friends and family members. Aka people who treat you the same pre and post injury. Spinal cord injuries are a difficult thing for people to deal with, even second hand. Unfortunately, some people will never be able to accept the new version of you. But friends and family are more of a quality than quantity scenario, you find out very quickly who has your back no matter what.
You become closer to those people in your life that stick around and support you through tough times. This ties into the previous point, but there is something about catastrophic tragedy that brings a sense of unconditional love and support that you don’t normally encounter.
Good parking. It is nice having designated parking spots that are wide and allow enough space to get a wheelchair in and out of a vehicle without worrying about dinging up anyone’s car. Unfortunately these spots can be a hot commodity if you are at the hospital for an appointment, or when you are running late and going to meet some other wheelchair using friends.
Learning humility. This was a big part of the journey for me. A sustaining a spinal cord injury is in all accounts eating a giant piece of humble pie. You lose all independence and privacy in the beginning. You have to learn to make peace and to accept everything for what it is. Not how it was, or how you want it to be.
Patience. Spinal cord injury recovery is literally like watching Mt. Everest grow taller. It is so slow it is literally like nothing is happening at all. It can take a long time to re-learn how to do tasks that were once so “simple” but now are anything but. Be patient and gentle with yourself, it is no easy task to learn to live in a new body.
Adaptability. In the process of re-learning how to function in a world that is not built for you, adaptability is the name of the game. From re-learning how to sit up, transfer, get dressed and drive. You will learn what works best for you and your body.
Problem Solving. There is a lot of creative problem solving and resourcefulness that comes along with being paralyzed and using a wheelchair. Learning to balance and stack things on your lap, or the quickest way to pick something up off the floor.
Perspective. After more or less toeing the line with death after a traumatic accident, you don’t really sweat the small stuff anymore. It puts into perspective what really matters in life. Family, friends, and the joy of simple living.
Self-Advocacy. There is no room for complacency with a spinal cord injury. You have to fight for what is best for you and your body. Nobody else has the same lived experience, you know your body better than anyone, and you have to trust your gut and advocate for yourself. Learning how to ask for help and delegate as a form off self-advocacy and independence, not weakness.
Vulnerability. This was another big one for me to deal with. I always try to present myself as tough as nails. But there is an inevitable vulnerability that emerges when you lose all of you independence and have to rely on the goodness of humanity to survive.
Appreciating the dark humour.. Even two years into my paralysis there are countless instances where it all just feels so surreal. But sometimes you just have to laugh at it all.. One particular time I was riding around with my motor attachment, and I could hear this loud scraping sound. I could not figure out where it was coming from, I thought it was something caught in the wheel or something. So I look down, and lo and behold it was the sound of my foot dragging across the concrete (thankfully protected by my shoe from any damage. Lesson learned to use a calf strap to keep your feet on the foot plate when going over bumpy terrain.
Cosmic humour. This kind of ties into the dark humour as well. But there is something ironic about always having strong legs and spaghetti arms for upper body strength. Now it is flip flopped. My leg muscles are non-existent and I now have the shoulder and delts of Hulk Hogan.
Going down ramps is fun. It honestly never gets old. It is a blast every single time (granted its not super cracked or dangerous terrain). Just make sure you have good gloves so you don’t get any friction burns on your hands while trying to break.
Surrender. You learn to make peace with things you cannot change and learn to move on best you can. It can be hard to let go of how you thought your life would be and let go of dreams you had for the future. But there is no use wasting energy on self-pity and remorse.
Finding strength through adversity. Finding triumph and courage through struggle shows you what you are made of. Nobody can take this away from you.
Appreciating the things I can still enjoy that much more. Sure there are lots of things | miss, or get frustrated now that there is more of a process to enjoy now. But being able to enjoy activities such as art and cooking still, makes it that much more enjoyable.
Grieving all that I have lost and reframing it, that it is a joy to have loved something so much that it hurts this much to never be able to do it again.
Letting go of how you think your life should be or could be, and just appreciating everything for what it is. Every day is a miracle, simply being alive is miraculous.
Appreciating the little things. There is a joy in simple living and weaning down your life to the things that really matter to you.
May or may not be easier to sneak flasks through metal detectors… I’m not going to implicate myself in this one.
The chance to re-invent yourself. the blessing after a catastrophe is you can pick up the pieces of your life and re-arrange them any way you like.
Forces you to live in the moment and re-experience everything again for the first time in a new way. While I miss many activities I used to do., It also makes me enjoy and appreciate the things I can do that much more.
The importance of living in the moment, since we are all living on borrowed time.
I’m not meaning to diminish the struggle of day to day living after a spinal cord injury.. It is undoubtedly difficult as every single aspect of your life changes. But even in the midst of chaos and despair, there is always a little bit of a silver lining.
